   In the last few days, I’ve had no fewer than eight conversations with people who feel so stressed–financially, emotionally, relationally–that  they literally don’t know how to proceed. Feeling hamstrung (now there’s a word that says it perfectly) by circumstances, they all said they felt they’re going down the tubes.
    It’s an amazingly tough time. Something feels evil in the air–some atmospheric weirdness that I used to experience when a God or Goddess cast a spell–something pervasive that is affecting so many of us.  Don’t think I’m going to say, as my father used to, “Just bull it through!” or, as my mother used to, ”There’s always a choice you can make!” Sometimes you’ve already bulled it through and it’s all getting worse. And sometimes there aren’t choices, except to declare bankruptcy and get a divorce and admit that you can’t land even the lowest-paying job you’ve ever heard of.  When you feel this way, and your only choice is to leave town but you can’t afford to, I think you have to give in to the engulfing paralysis and depression.Â
    When work isn’t coming in; when your relationship is a disaster or there’s no partner in your life and it doesn’t look as if there’s going to be; when you feel you’re a has-been or a never-gonna-be; when you’re sick or can’t pay bills or have aging parents with Alzheimers and children you don’t have insurance for and a face that’s falling and a body that’s growing or all of the above; just pull the covers over your head for awhile. Wallow in it.
  Just try not to be hideously mean to anyone just because your life sucks. Try to contain your rage somewhat lest you jeopardize your friendships. (When it picks up again, their lives may suck but they won’t want you in those lives anymore since they remember how much YOU sucked out of them when you were busy spewing your rage.) Otherwise, just go for it. You’ll find it’s hard to wallow for too long.  Something always happens to perk you up just as you experienced the nadir. Wallowing will then feel as tedious as being cheerful did the week or month before.  Things might not have got better, but the notion of having choices will, oddly, reappear. I don’t know how or why it happens this way, but it does.
   So let it. When you don’t know what to do, my darling depressed earth girls and boys, try doing nothing.
   
Thank you, amba!
I’ve noticed this is true myself. For some reason, if I fight depression or desperation, it seems to give it more power and drag it out. If I go with it, it seems to peter out on its own, and even though nothing has changed, I feel better and find those reserves that seemed lost a few days ago.
Exactly. It’s what happens when you take pressure off….decisions seem to flow more naturally than when we’re always pressing, pressing, pressing. Our poor brains!
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